Seems this site has been changed and updated since I last posted. Funny I didn't even notice. Since my last real post... I've turned 23... had a few drunken makeouts ... ushered in a new year and had a visitor. My how time flies. I've also been to Memphis twice and Murfreesboro. A busy two months apparently. And K got reassigned on her beat and therefore my social life during the week plummeted a bit. I still don't seem to be saving money though. With the birthday and all though... I suppose it's been a bit against the norm for how things will be now. But with my ever-growing list of TV shows to watch.. I'm sure I'll keep myself occupied. And there's always the novel that I seemed to have given up on reading. The one I got weeks before COC. God, that's depressing. I'm such a fuck up. ha. I keep telling myself that I'll take a week and finish it. Although I sincerely doubt it. Seeing as how my 'projects' 'goals' etc. have gone in the past. It's a good week if I'm never more than 10 minutes late getting into work. I have low standards it seems. I wish I had something profound to say. I think if you actually blog on a regular basis those profound moments come every now and again.

It has rained here the entire day. I would know this as I was up until 5 a.m. and the storm woke me around 8 or so. Maybe earlier. That's just the first time I looked at my phone. My favorite person while I worked downtown leaves in two days. It's somewhat surreal. She's off to sunny California. We didn't hang out as much as we should have. I'm a slack ass like that. I take things for granted...and then they're gone. She will be on Tuesday. Maybe we'll meet up again in some random city and work for the same paper ... but it's one less friend I have here. Which is a lot since I don't have that many. The lunch for her confirmed that I made one of the best decisions ever when I took my job. The people who work there are all so decidely miserable with what they do and who they work for. It's obvious. You can hear it in their voices...and you can see it in their eyes. And yet... I can never see any of them leaving. Even the young ones. They've all mostly got roots or family close by. And it's so fucking Stockholm Syndrome. It makes me ill. I can't imagine ever being there. National and world news be damned.

Over the past few months, I have grown to realize just how damn lucky I am. The job gets me down occasionally... but it could be SO much worse. And the people I work with are absolutely wonderful. I've told a number of them it's going to be very hard to leave when I do. It's not a place where you can be a lifer. And I wouldn't want that anyway. It's like a decade. You love the clothes, you love the music and the movies and the sayings... but eventually it all changes and you're wearing some dated shit and holding onto something that no longer exists. And I never want that to happen with this place that I love. So I'm going to rock out until the music stops. And then work my way elsewhere.

Still looking for something that's a greater fulfillment. In general. A reason to bounce out of bed when my alarm actually goes off would be a starting point. But it's not as though I've found it before now... so i'm not particularly optimistic I will anytime soon. it's so classic that my posts are often such a rollercoaster of emotion. Would you really expect anything less? For anyone else who actually reads this... you know that's the SOP.

At some point in my blogging hiatus... I also become obsessed with Nina Simone. Quality shit people.
Speaking of quailty shit... go see Brokeback Mountain. Even if you're straight and conservative. It's just a good movie. Although I know katie disagrees.

i need to play with my iPod. it's been seriously neglected. p.s. Fall and winter are no longer my favorite seasons. It gets dark way too damn fast. And it really puts you in a funk. Looks like i'll have to embrace sweating and pollen from now on.