off the record, on the QT and very hush-hush

humorous on a hungover hump day

2007-07-12T03:56:43Z

So I went home for lunch today to spend some time with the dog and try not to feel dizzy and nauseated after a late night with the online crew.

stopped at the red light by the apartment where the cross traffic is always ridiculous during the day.

and this girl assholishly pulls up into the intersection right before her light goes red... thus fucking all of those (including me) trying to continue on Fairfax. She was totally blocking the road and there was no way to get around her, which, in fact, sucks. but whatever i was dehydrated and didn't mind the break in the day.

not so for the Hummer guy behind me.

he starts slamming on his horn for the entire green light. honk.honk.honk.honk.honk. then just holds it down. eventually... they seem to catch eyes. at first she's all... mouthing "sorry" and such... that doesn't last long. Eventually she's throwing up her hands and getting pissed.

he then starts yelling. "You're blocking the whole fucking intersection!!" etc.

and her retort... which just made my afternoon... "I REALIZE THAT, YOU FUCKING CARPET MUNCHER!!"

... do what?
Wouldn't you at least call him a cocksucker and question his manhood? Carpet muncher? Really?

I was defeated. and amused.

hope it finds you the same.

annnnnnd done...

2006-11-07T21:45:04Z

maybe she'll go back to making good beats again.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/07/britney.divorce/index.html

i feel bloggy

2006-10-17T06:26:02Z

bloggy you're thinking? i questioned it too. but then it came right back in my head.... bloggy. i feel bloggy indeed. maybe it's the rain and the chill in the air. maybe it's the fact that i slept in today until about 12:30 because i was supposed to be off (turns out... nope... on the schedule somehow.... awesome).

and since i'm in the mood to make up words... the next one is conquested. niki and i were just talking about a conquest of hers.... and i believe that i need a conquest.... or to be conquested. Bloggy and conquested? I think there might be a cream for that. At least a spray.

turns out snow patrol decided to shorten its version of 'chasing cars' on myspace. thanks snow patrol. i finally decide.... yes... that will be my song after much debate.... and you go and shorten the fucking thing. thx. i'll call you beyonce from now on. it truly is deja vu. as she did the same with that damn song.

i found an old friend on myspace recently. i need to write him a lengthy message... yet i can't seen to make/find the time. it's odd. was so excited to see his profile... then..... ehhh.

maybe i'm just a lazy fuck.

yeah that's probably part of it.

this has been the most insane month in memory with no sign of stopping. a brief rundown.

fly to albuquerque. stay for 3 days / 4 nights. drink. drink drink. dance. puke. clean. sit. eat. drink. play. smoke. yay.

fly back. work. work. visitors from memphis. eat. drink. dance. elbow. yell. drink. chill

work work work work work. visit. drink. drink drink. smoke smoke smoke. pancakes. work. drink. old friends. new friends. eat. whiskey tour.

and then there's columbia coming up this week. and the next wknd will be hopefully a halloween party at our place.

throw in the merger at work and one of my favorite people leaving the TNan and you've got one hell of a month.

when in doubt, fuck the electrician

-d

generation Y (me)

2006-08-07T20:30:38Z

It seems with every passing day and with every friend I talk to that there's a growing pattern among us all.

There are a few options to the pattern... but it follows a mostly typical pattern.

(1) Have a wonderful college experience with tons of friends, lots to do and lots of booze.

2 (a)Pick up and move where the job is. Anywhere in the U.S. where the employers are biting.

2 (b) Go to grad school/law school/med school. Anywhere in the U.S. where the admissions staffs are biting.

2 (c) Get engaged / married at the ripe old age of 22 or 23. And prepare for a lifelong committment along with other coming changes. (Step 3 thus possibly not applicable)

3(a) Completely start over in a new city with a sigificantly reduced social life, job (school) that you don't necessarily dislike nor love, watch the months fly by with little to show for it.

3 (b) Follow or travel with a significant other to said random destination. have a significantly reduced social life, job (school) that you don't necessarily dislike nor love, watch the months fly by with little to show for it, but at least you've got someone/something you're connected to. Even if it further reduces your already significantly reduced social life.

Notice the badness? When does this bullshit end? Is this a journalism thing or is this just a life thing? Did I miss the memo on how to move on after college and did everyone else I know do the same? WTF.

Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Or something really. Anything at this point. Other than the gin and tonic waiting to be made later ... and the knock-off Triscuits waiting to be eaten in the cabinet.

somafiend @ 2006-06-28T00:10:00

2006-06-28T05:11:50Z

sometimes it's easy to forget how something as simple as an e-mail can really brighten your day. maybe i'll send a random one tomorrow.

this bitch...

2006-06-22T22:53:14Z

So I'm getting on the elevator.... on my way back from a cigarette.... and these two women are in the elevator....

"one of them asks... anyone for 4?"

I say yes.

Then.... she says.... "Yeah, you can usually tell by what people are wearing what floor they work on."

She's lucky I don't hit girls.... 'cause i would have cut a bitch otherwise.

Oooooohhhh I'm pissed right now.

Advertising whore. Not like she was dressed cute anyway. Ugh.

somafiend @ 2006-06-21T15:40:00

2006-06-21T20:41:58Z

i've been doing these for a while for people here... might as well post them on the ol' blog. (more to come).
rant for the day...

first off... this guy is a total jackass in the first place.... however... don't try to pretend you're NOT a jackass... when you obviously are.

On Tuesday to reporters, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen referred to Chicago Sun-Times columnist and Around the Horn contributor Jay Mariotti as a derogatory name for a homosexual.
Angry with a recent column by Mariotti critical of Guillen's handling of recently demoted relief pitcher Sean Tracey and upset with Mariotti with columns of the past, Guillen said to reporters when referring to Mariotti before Tuesday's game with the Cardinals, "What a piece of [expletive] he is, [expletive] fag."

Before writing the column, Couch asked Guillen for an explanation. Guillen defended his use of the term "fag" by saying this about homosexuals and the use of the word in question: "I don't have anything against those people. In my country, you call someone something like that and it is not the same as it is in this country.''
Guillen said that in his native Venezuela, that word is not a reference to a person's sexuality, but to his courage. He said he was saying that Mariotti is "not man enough to meet me and talk about [things before writing].''
Guillen also told Couch that he has gay friends, attends WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to go to the Gay Games in Chicago.

Where do I even START with this?
OK... First off... 'in your native Venezuela'..... that's a cute story. Because you've been playing Major League Baseball.... since.... 1985 (yes I checked). 1985. Seriously? You're pulling the culture card when you've been working in this country for over 20 years?! This ain't the peace sign....or the middle finger... or something like that... it's not tipping a bartender or popping your collar... it's a word... that you obviously know and you used it because you were pissed. And ignorant.
Soooo.... who lacks courage now, Ozzie? You're a douchebag. What... you take offense to that? Oh I'm sorry... in Memphis... douchebag means... one who merits great respect and admiration. Sorry about the cultural differences. Seems things are a bit different in Venezuela...and Chicago.

Second of all... you have gay friends? Dear God... that's the biggest copout ever. Ask any closet racist out there... and I guarantee they can tell you how many black/white/hispanic/asian friends they have.... when they last talked to them... and how they went to their house this one time. And it was clean.

attends WNBA games?! attends WNBA games.... c'mon. Jesus Christ. What are you implying Ozzie? Only lesbians play pro basketball? That gay men like women's basketball because usually when you call someone a fag it's a guy.... and i hate to tell ya... but we aren't playing women's basketball and probably aren't watching it. Lesbians or not.

Went to a Madonna concert? . . . . Do you hear that... the rumbling in the distance... it's the stereotype train. please... jump on board ... there are so many free seats. I was unaware that Madonna = gay. I mean... I might "Material Girl" and "Like a Virgin" it up all day long... but... you're going to Madonna concerts makes you down with the gays? That's like saying.... hey... I like white people... i try to dance badly ... or i like black people... I ate some collard greens one time... et cetra ...et cetra. WTF.

(see how stupid stereotypes are, Oz... don't worry i've got one for you too).

Oh and finally... and I almost forgot this one... 'those people'? Those people? Ugh... the next time people talk about immigration and refer to Hispanics of native Venezuelans as 'those people'... I certainly hope you're not offended, Oz. Because I'm sure they worked on a construction crew one summer.... and they're down with you.

somafiend @ 2006-06-11T22:56:00

2006-06-12T04:15:37Z

What to do when the alcohol tastes like water... and the cigarette feels like air. I wish I knew. This has been a highest of highs, lowest of lows kind of week. And i'm sure there's only more fun to come. Everything from work to my personal life has been one huge fucking roller coaster this week. I can say with a fair amount of conviction that Friday was one of the worst days at work since I've been there. So much tension.... Sooooooooo many fuckups.... it was one of those days where you look around for the cameras. This can't be real, right? Oh but it was.

I think the strain of being in separate offices is starting to show. We got optimistic when the first few days went so smoothly. A mistake.

And i actually went on a date on Friday. yes, you read correctly. i went on a date. i think it went pretty well. but i'm a terrible judge of things. and the more time that passes... the more paranoid i get.

got really drunk last night.... and pretty much made an ass of myself. it seemed amusing at the time. but in retrospect... maybe wasn't the best plan of action.

today has been all about reflection (read: dwelling) and therefore quite frustrating. especially when in the middle of the week... it seemed that i might actually be turning a corner. turns out.... it seems to just be the same goddamn building.

at this point in the day... i've reached some sort of numb.

guess that's what happens when you only leave the apartment for five minutes... to get said cigarettes and beer.

all i really want right now.... is a strong gin and tonic..... and i'd just go back to bed.

one of these days (one of my more popular phrases on here) i'm actually going to look forward to taking responsibility for things... to change.... to making things better.

buuuuuut... for the time being... i'll just be charmingly neurotic about them.... and just wait for the day to end or when i just can't take worrying about them anymore and finally do something.

i don't blog anymore... because it's all one huge repetition anyway... and why should i blog... when i could just copy and paste.

i mean really. i suppose since i've spent this much time writing this thing... i might as well post it.

i move in two weeks. i haven't packed a fucking thing. oh... and i'm going to atlanta this upcoming wknd.

And we're staying in a hotel because kate and i are white. The last time I checked it was 2006... but... apparently not.

what are you going to do. at least it'll be nice to see amber.

i'm just over it all.

really really over it.

somafiend @ 2006-05-17T23:01:00

2006-05-18T04:03:25Z

it seems that every time I have a productive talk of what I want to change in my life .... in less than 48 hours I revert back to the same thing. with little change on the horizon.

now that's what i call staying power.

yeah yeah yeah

2006-04-01T21:29:22Z

I haven't posted in basically forever. But i'm bored at work (since I've started Saturday shifts until July) so I thought I'd write something.

I've been pretty burnt out this week aside from yesterday and today. Some changes coming at the office... and until they do... things will feel pretty up in the air. However ... bringing me out of this rut has been the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Some people from work are really into them... and I got their first disc this week. It is quite amazing. It's one of those CDs you have to listen to a few times to really get. And I get it now. And I love it. Thinking about going to get the new album this weekend. These should keep me occupied until 10,000 Days is released May 2.

That's right. A new TOOL album. Only took them nearly five years. But I can't complain. It certainly builds excitement. I wish I had more profound thoughts to share with the world. Last week... after getting coffee at Starbucks with Amber.. I was inspired to blog. But it didn't seem to happen.

Most nights (this week anyway) I just come home, have a beer or so... and fall that much more deeply in love with Brian Kinney. God bless Showtime for reruns. However... last night... instead of what was supposed to be a two-hour fab fest of QAF... was... Chopping Mall.

If you haven't seen this masterpiece... you should try. Think painfully 80s, cheesy horror flick. So painfully 80s and cheesy... that you can't tear yourself away.
The tagline MIGHT be the best part....
"Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg."

The only thing about it is.. the villains in the movie... are robots with lasers mostly... and there's really not a lot of chopping involved when making a buxom blonde's head explode with a laser.

If that were the only thing wrong with this movie... it probably wouldn't have been any fun to watch.

Also fulfilling as of late.. chatting with Rachel about the real world. We finally got to talk last night. And it was great. Hopefully heading to the land of bluegrass soon to visit her. And Eli should be down next wknd to party. So there are some things to look forward to. Despite the fact that Kate will be in Miami for all of next week. //sighs//

Trying to decide if i should spend an entire week's vaca to go with Amanda and Jamie to FLA in May. Just don't want to shoot the whole wad. You know?

On a final note.. I'm kinda over MySpace already. I think Facebook is my one tried and true addiction to sites like that. We'll see.

Guess I'll get back to waiting for page proofs.

somafiend @ 2006-02-10T15:57:00

2006-02-10T21:57:47Z

So long, Quin.

somafiend @ 2006-01-22T23:17:00

2006-01-23T05:53:49Z

Seems this site has been changed and updated since I last posted. Funny I didn't even notice. Since my last real post... I've turned 23... had a few drunken makeouts ... ushered in a new year and had a visitor. My how time flies. I've also been to Memphis twice and Murfreesboro. A busy two months apparently. And K got reassigned on her beat and therefore my social life during the week plummeted a bit. I still don't seem to be saving money though. With the birthday and all though... I suppose it's been a bit against the norm for how things will be now. But with my ever-growing list of TV shows to watch.. I'm sure I'll keep myself occupied. And there's always the novel that I seemed to have given up on reading. The one I got weeks before COC. God, that's depressing. I'm such a fuck up. ha. I keep telling myself that I'll take a week and finish it. Although I sincerely doubt it. Seeing as how my 'projects' 'goals' etc. have gone in the past. It's a good week if I'm never more than 10 minutes late getting into work. I have low standards it seems. I wish I had something profound to say. I think if you actually blog on a regular basis those profound moments come every now and again.

It has rained here the entire day. I would know this as I was up until 5 a.m. and the storm woke me around 8 or so. Maybe earlier. That's just the first time I looked at my phone. My favorite person while I worked downtown leaves in two days. It's somewhat surreal. She's off to sunny California. We didn't hang out as much as we should have. I'm a slack ass like that. I take things for granted...and then they're gone. She will be on Tuesday. Maybe we'll meet up again in some random city and work for the same paper ... but it's one less friend I have here. Which is a lot since I don't have that many. The lunch for her confirmed that I made one of the best decisions ever when I took my job. The people who work there are all so decidely miserable with what they do and who they work for. It's obvious. You can hear it in their voices...and you can see it in their eyes. And yet... I can never see any of them leaving. Even the young ones. They've all mostly got roots or family close by. And it's so fucking Stockholm Syndrome. It makes me ill. I can't imagine ever being there. National and world news be damned.

Over the past few months, I have grown to realize just how damn lucky I am. The job gets me down occasionally... but it could be SO much worse. And the people I work with are absolutely wonderful. I've told a number of them it's going to be very hard to leave when I do. It's not a place where you can be a lifer. And I wouldn't want that anyway. It's like a decade. You love the clothes, you love the music and the movies and the sayings... but eventually it all changes and you're wearing some dated shit and holding onto something that no longer exists. And I never want that to happen with this place that I love. So I'm going to rock out until the music stops. And then work my way elsewhere.

Still looking for something that's a greater fulfillment. In general. A reason to bounce out of bed when my alarm actually goes off would be a starting point. But it's not as though I've found it before now... so i'm not particularly optimistic I will anytime soon. it's so classic that my posts are often such a rollercoaster of emotion. Would you really expect anything less? For anyone else who actually reads this... you know that's the SOP.

At some point in my blogging hiatus... I also become obsessed with Nina Simone. Quality shit people.
Speaking of quailty shit... go see Brokeback Mountain. Even if you're straight and conservative. It's just a good movie. Although I know katie disagrees.

i need to play with my iPod. it's been seriously neglected. p.s. Fall and winter are no longer my favorite seasons. It gets dark way too damn fast. And it really puts you in a funk. Looks like i'll have to embrace sweating and pollen from now on.

realization

2005-11-28T04:29:32Z

i read some poems by a very good friend today. i wondered why they affected me. well... i mean... they were good and inspired... and interesting and you know ... those types of things. So it makes sense they would have an effect. But it just hit me. just moments ago. why they stuck with me. I haven't written anything in a long time. of substance that is. i used to write a lot in high school. and before that. one could pass it off as typical teenage angst-ridden bullshit. i mean. it might apply. and some of it was required for classes and all. but it was raw. and real. and it was a release. and it was something entirely me. that i created.

I don't really have that anymore. that release. that ability to create something solely mine. i almost said can't. or thought i did. but i clearly can. i just don't. it seems. i don't even write on here anymore. no more entries of substance. i feel i've traded my pen for a bottle... my paper only comes wrapped around tobacco these days... and of course... i only light it... burn it down...and dispose of it. thrown from the car window... or my balcony... or simply smashed in a metal tray in the back of the office. it's a weird realization.

honestly... as much I enjoy what I do... or the fact that I consider myself pretty good at it... copy editing is more than anything the art of deletion. that might be a negative way to look at it. i mean... i do think that I make the articles better more often than not... but... mostly.. it's turning december into dec.... taking states out of dateline cities... and composing 5 to 7 words to describe a piece of writing. with another 10 or so to further bring home the point. it's changing words to figures and shit like that. and it rarely feels like your own.

at least when i was designing... it was me. a bit of flair that I came up with. something I composed... that was real...and tangible... that you could hold. even if someone hated it... or made you move the photo or work in more white space ... it was still me.

I'm in a strange mood this evening... maybe it's the change in temperature. the holidays. the new changes coming at work. the Matrix gruel that sometimes I feel like things have become. the lack of someone to really share these moments... these thoughts with... i can't quite figure all that out. i just know that i don't express my emotions or thoughts or whatever anymore into anything physical. i don't really release them like i used to... into something better. than simply a random mini-breakdown ... or just bottling them up in some fermented liquid to wash away. or just burying them in tar inside me. some things really need to change. before they get out of hand. i can see the romantic appeal of the writer. even if it's simply a reporter. that chance to make something so entirely yours on a daily basis. maybe more so an artist. but you get my point.

I had some sort of closing thought... that was actually worth a damn... but it's a bit hazy... those libations they do that it seems.

boom

2005-11-24T16:05:50Z

nick and jessica = over
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/24/simpson.lachey.ap/index.html

somafiend @ 2005-11-14T16:59:00

2005-11-14T23:00:15Z

guess you could only find distractions for so long ... the shit eventually catches up with you.
who knew running away wasn't a good coping mechanism?

somafiend @ 2005-11-06T23:57:00

2005-11-07T05:58:27Z

drink drink smoke. smoke smoke drink. side trip murray. columbia. nashville. memphis. new friends... old friends. changes. work work work work work work. life.

funny

2005-10-07T15:32:50Z

Go to Google, type "(Your Name) needs" in quotes, and post the first 10 results.

David needs a wash - or at least a dry clean

David needs our support

David needs prayers

David needs your help!!!!!

David needs to roar with pride

David needs to be able to do this work independently

David needs a computer program that will let him hear what he has written, has a spell checker that will speak both the word that he has written and the choices for correction, and that has both a typical dictionary and a phonetic dictionary.

David needs dusting often, every two months during the summer.

What David needs most is support from a stable and harmonious family.

Christina is exactly what David needs and David, as well as his family, are what
Christina needs.

somafiend @ 2005-10-05T00:06:00

2005-10-05T05:10:16Z

random inspiration.
i need to read more.
i need to find a good book.
and a new CD.
and listen...and write... and read...and learn.
and go to more band competitions. because i love them. because they make me feel right in the world. all these things do. they are things that put passion back in my life. they are the things that make me feel fulfilled. and i haven't been doing them. i get so caught up in the rat race... and the easy comforts of a few beers after work and mundane channel-flipping.... and the same goddamn songs on my media player. and i don't branch out. and this i can do now. see i don't have to read... because I have to anymore... no more studying. no more school books. yeah i read articles...but that's not reading for pleasure. and i definitely have time to do so now. fuck it... i'm buying a book tomorrow. kick my ass if you hear of me doing anything else. i feel better already.

somafiend @ 2005-10-04T23:45:00

2005-10-05T04:59:45Z

Williamson County = the heart of Bush country. Yes, I see at least five Bush stickers a day in my driving around Cool Springs. Often on the back window of an Infiniti SUV or a Lexus. These SUV yuppies are also... always on their cell phones....and refuse to go inside to a fast-food restaurant. They will wait... in a line that wraps around the entire establishment... so they don't have to bother with parking. I'm waiting for valet at McDonald's. It wouldn't shock me. What else.... oh many Franklin residents told the mayor they didn't want "those people" in the area when Katrina hit. There was a lot of support...but a lot of shitty people. Oh and if you want to have a protest and to be tacky doing so.... put one or two pink flamingos in your front yard. AND don't forget... that newspaper boxes in front of the post office are hideous. Be sure to complain. And get a city ordinance against them.

My life may not be all that particularly captivating... but my community and audience are plenty asinine. Which does make for some sort of entertainment. I'm just glad I don't live there.

That's about all I have that's even remotely interesting. Really need to make a paper chain for the trip to Columbia. I fear that I may be getting too excited about it though... and that I'm destined for being let down. Isn't that how it always seems to go though?

Was talking with a friend last night. And he makes my job sound more mundane than it already can be. I'm jealous of his opporunity to change the world. And he's got such passion for it. I need more passion. I do enjoy what I do... but it's like it consumes him... and motivates him on new levels.

Maybe that's why they don't pay teachers well.... they're bankrolled in something much more fulfilling than money. It wouldn't mean as much to them if they got paid what they should. Or maybe i'm just justifying a ridiculous injustice. Or I could just need a good dream and to wake up with extreme purpose. I'm an old abandoned church with broken pews and empty aisles.

my drunk ass

2005-10-01T14:35:08Z

let's recap.

start with beers at work. beer at kate's apartment. several beers at Sam's.
pitchers at Villager. several new friends. chew gum at some point.

don't remember paying tab. or why we left. stumble back to kate's. fall... numerous times.

this morning... scrapes on knee... shoulder.... wrist.... face (2).... gum on shirt.... gum in armpit of shirt.... gum all over shirt. bit of gum in hair. England coat...left at Villager.

now at work.

conclusion: Great to have Kate back. =).

somafiend @ 2005-09-19T22:39:00

2005-09-20T03:54:55Z

ever sit back and look around and wonder... if just for a moment.... how did I get here? how is September more than halfway over?

More so the former than the latter. But you know what I am getting at. For example... How did my apartment get so disgusting? How did I get so lazy? How has it been a year since I've dated someone? How did my hair get so out of control and completely unmanageable? These clearly vary in degrees of important. But today... I just honestly don't know how I've gotten to where I am. I feel like life is becoming more and more of a blur. And I somehow find no time to.... clean, do laundry, get a haircut, groceries, call people. I only work 40 hours a week. What the hell am I doing with the rest of my time?

I feel, more often than not, that there are so many things i should be doing. I should be more active. I should work out. I should eat better. I should smoke less. I should be productive when I get home. Cook dinner for a change. Do something random and fulfilling. Yet. I sit here. And type about it. Which I guess is better than simply thinking it. Perhaps not. The long and the short of this is.... there are so many things that I think I should be doing... that I don't find the time to actually do them. I just think about them... get distracted by something shiny.... or fermented more likely... and put them off.

The next thing I'll know... I'll be fat, lazy, unmotivated and old. And I'll wonder where the time went. Why I never did the things I spend time thinking about? And just exactly how the rest of my youth was spent. It's like I put off these obligations... these wants...these everything... for a fairly stagnant existence. Don't get me wrong. I've had some really great days lately. Birmingham, AL is a beautiful town. And I have a wonderful time there. And the Memphis trip... well that was simply interesting. But... again... like usual... i'm looking for something a bit more permanent. Something to stick with. Which I have a huge problem doing. Which is maybe why I think about so many of them. Hell... it took at least a week to write this damn entry. And i get these random spurts of inspiration. At like 1030 at night.... and so now ... what do i do with it? Go running aroung my complex on a bum toe? Awkwardly take some laundry down to the next building? It would be like me. I miss my old hours. If I got these inspirations... I could do them before work and still have time to be worthless after work. Bah. The real world. Bah a non-seven-day-a-week paper.

p.s. I love the fact that the most famous person from my high school... (more than likely...it's not like i've done research) is known because she talked shit on her blog and got fired. Just saw the blog again today. And laughed. And thought about how her 10-year reunion must have been. I doubt she went. Bartlett High... be proud. We're shit-talkers. And techno-savvy apparently. Christ.

Katrina, I hate you

2005-08-30T05:23:58Z

This is going to be random and short. Courtney and I mocked Katrina on Friday. Talking about its sassy name and how it was only a Category 1. Talk about being bitchy. Now it's dumping tons of rain on me. Awesome. Hoping not to float down the highway tomorrow/today. waiting for the shit to hit the fan tonight. hopefully i'll have power in the morning. or if not... i'll just sleep through my alarm... and actually possibly feel better.

Been sick for couple weeks now. getting worse. makes me feel so out of it. it's like a constant out-of-body experience... but seems to put me in a better mood. which is weird.

Really great weekend. Hung out with Kate at the beer sellar. (yeah that's how they spell it). just lots of good conversation. EJ's barbecue. and seeing how the upper managment at the TNan lives. nice to know someone makes money in this business. then an absolutely fantastic trip to bowling green to see Stephanie and Amber. Dancing, drinking, good scenery ... convos until 5 a.m. Cracker Barrel, Best Buy and McDonalds ice cream. And a little detective work. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Thinking about trash can missiles. Damn you local news.

Welcome to the world

2005-08-20T05:12:44Z

It's the weekend before the fall semester at Mizzou. I'm nowhere near Columbia, Mo. Not at Big 12. Not at the bookstore in some ridiculous line after tracking down some tool in a green vest to have him show me where they decided to put this one journalism textbook. No angry old woman adding up my receipts and giving me a rebate. I'm in a different state. Literally figuratively... and yeah. 1130 friday night before the first week and I've been in for 45 minutes... thinking about how I should be doing laundry.

That my friends.... is weird. It's beyond awkward. This will undoubtedly be the toughest part of graduating. I was working today instead of running around Columbia with Rachel. Running errands...getting stuff...catching up in our living room. Bitching about how we can't cook... and reminiscing about the dumb shit we did the night before.

But so it goes . . . so it goes indeed.

Possibly more of a welcome mat is that my supervisor... who's worked with the paper for 20 years.... got laid off today. While I was at lunch. I come back. She's gone. We have an office meeting a while after I get there to talk about it. It's business. It's the G-nett. Talk of FTEs and profit margins. And anxiety from the other employees. Talk about the real world. This woman knows everyone in the community. I expect a bit of a PR backlash. Not that G-nett cares. The people who matter for them are in the next time zone. And probably have never ventured to Franklin, Tenn. She's just a name on a salary list. Or was I suppose.

I think we live in an age where no one will work for the same company for decades. No one will make a fat retirement. Unless you somehow find a small-town paper. Or a family-owned one. My stay with the G-nett just got shorter. If I'm going to be a expendable statistic. It will at least come from someone whose face I've seen. Who I might have had a few drinks with. Might have met their kids or spouse.

Today I will hope to find a fabulous apartment. We shall see.

I love America.

2005-08-16T22:11:03Z

RICHMOND, Virginia (AP) -- A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday, with people getting thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and nearly driven over. One woman went so far to wet herself rather than surrender her place in line.

somafiend @ 2005-08-14T23:50:00

2005-08-15T05:22:27Z

every time I want to update this thing — I lose my motivation by the time I get to the screen. Frustrating. Week One into the real world. Still alive. Haven't freaked out just yet and gone on the road with a band or had some drug-induced journey to the country. Appears this being an adult thing isn't necessarily so bad.

Actually got fairly responsible and paid bills today and took care of things. If only to not have so many things hanging over my head to keep me up at night. It's weird to have the money to comfortably pay bills. Never had that experience before this summer. I like it. Haha. Excited to see 'stine tomorrow/today. Interns will all be gone in a week. That's going to be shitty. Definitely the people who I've gotten to be closest with over the past couple months...and the closest they will be is an hour. Boo. People at new job seem more sociable so there are prospects there.

I had high hopes of heading back to the B town this weekend/past wknd ...whatever you call it on sunday night... but I just didn't have the energy. I realized that, along with being sick and coughing my life away, I had been running myself ragged over 2 weeks... between working downtown... then driving to Columbia and going out like crazy and cleaning... then coming here...working 8 straight days... trying to adjust to a new sleep schedule... go out with interns because they're leaving... I hadn't had any time to recharge... and it's probably why I got sick in the first place. It sucks. I mean I've been having a fantastic time... but the hours when i just spent sitting in my apartment, paying bills or unpacking shit and looking at the clock in the morning and not caring what time it was.... were incredible. I want to get back and I felt bad for not making it down... but honestly... I'm only 3 hours away. And people can come visit me. =).

Hopefully this weekend will have allowed me to refresh a little. I need to drink some orange juice or something. bleh. I've felt out of sorts all day... even talking to jenny was weird today...and that very rarely happens. i feel my music tastes and downloads lately have been way too mainstream. need more new random stuff. stop looking on the billboard charts for new shit.

random side note. but that's my life. i think i'm going to make a 2:1 ratio on my next mix of things that are obscure. or at least old. my cds haven't been as good lately. and that is upsetting.

I've got soul ... but I'm not a soldier.
//yawns//